Step Three - Unto Thee Oh, Lord - Do I Lift Up My Soul

In Recovery Meditations by Carolyn she mentions that the spirituality needed to overcome compulsive eating is a process. I was talking to someone on the phone about what I had learned so far in my first 30 days of Overeater's Anonymous.  There are so many new thoughts, feelings, and concerns that have come to light but the biggest thing that keeps popping up in my daily life is a 'lightness".  I am confessing my plans and my failures to a sponsor and other OA members almost every day. Even though I "feel terrible" when I do not keep to my eating plan, the feeling is not overpowering. Eighty percent of the time I stop the binge, stop the negative thoughts (like "what's the use!"), and I pray, then I make the climb back to my meal plan. How is this possible? Here are some reasons that I can think of:

1. My concept of God is changing. The God of my parent's religion was a God of only black and white. If you stayed in the light of "truth" (or their opinion or translation of the truth) then you were saved and pleasing God. If you stuck your pinkie toe a smidgen from that path of light or their truth that was plucked from the Bible - then you were doomed. They quote I John chapter 1 but then do not tie in I John 2:9-11 "Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It’s the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God’s light and doesn’t block the light from others. But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark,  doesn't know which end is up, blinded by the darkness."    OA is all about the light of love and acceptance and there is a welcoming spirit, a sense of safety. I never feel like I am blocked from God's light.         
2. My concept of who I need to be to follow God's plan for my life is changing.  "I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it’s the same as receiving me."    Matt. 18: 2-5.  "Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.”     Mark 10:15  So when I was talking to an OA member on the phone, I compared myself to a child. When a child does something wrong it is scolded and disciplined but does it stop life and moan and groan for days or give up and say "what's the use in living?"  No! With in a short time a child forgets and runs with arms outstretched to her father. The child knows that her father is fair and just and only disciplined out of love.  I want to be that child who runs back to God with arms outstretched and can only see the Father's light in front. The focus is not on worrying about putting one toe out of the light  (or eating a candy bar) but on running full force toward love. "Face the Son and all shadows are behind you."
3. I have a new support group that I can be the real me with. What a difference this has made in my life. I have always felt I had to be "on stage" and an example of all things "good and right".  I can't do this! I am not the light of the world. God is! So my fellow OA members accepting me the way I am is so freeing.

Oh Lord, my God, Help me take each day One Day at a Time . . . I will take Step Three this day, turning my will and life over to the care of you My God.  In Christ's name I pray, Amen 

 

                                                                                                           

The Perfect You

In Debbie Danowski’s book, The Emotional Eater's Book of Inspiration:, she talks about the lies we tell ourselves. I have tried to come up with any excuse to get sweets but when your wheelchair (needs repairs and new wheels) can’t go far enough - I have to give up and let God be in control.

So I have continued reading her book (keeping my mind busy) and thought I would share another message that really hit home for me:

“When I lose weight, I'll _________.YOU FILL IN the blank. I'm sure you've thought about this many times in your life. Will you take a trip you've always wanted to? Or, will you be wearing a certain outfit or participating in a special activity? Whatever it is, you've probably been dreaming about it for quite a while.

Maybe it's not that you will do something. Instead, you may believe your life will be a certain way if you lose weight: perhaps you will finally have that relationship you've always dreamed of or maybe the most amazing job or the perfect place to live. Or, it could involve being accepted into a certain social club or organization. ......... Somehow I believed that that magical number would solve every problem I had. I didn't realize until later that I had set myself up to go back to my unhealthy eating habits. I had created a list of unrealistic expectations to ensure that I would be disappointed. Of course, disappointment would be the excuse I needed to overeat. Luckily, I realized what was happening before it was too late.

As you continue on in your program, it is important for you to be as realistic as possible. Rather than thinking about what will happen when you lose weight, concentrate on making today the best day that you can. All of these days will add up to an amazing life and gradually you will find yourself achieving your dreams, whether they be smaller goals or major life changes. Then, you will see that the number on the scale has nothing to do with it.”

What Debbie Danowski says is all so true but like Paul Harvey said, “And now for the rest of the story”.

As a Christian I know that success, achieving my dreams, and trying to be my best or be a good person isn't enough. The only way to live my life is by following Christ – in all things.

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:6-8

I don't need to be perfect because I have a Perfect Savior and High Priest:

“…Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest truly meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens.” Heb. 7:24-26

My Father, You are so holy and perfect. Please forgive me when I believe Satan's lies and forget that it is only through Your love that I am made whole. Thank you for that gift. Help me to remember each day that You are strong enough to meet all my needs and fill my hungry heart.  In Christ's name I pray, Amen.



Matthew West - Strong Enough (Official Music Video) from emimusic on GodTube.

When Food Calls Your Name

God gave me a victory Sunday at the potluck dinner and then the battle intensified. Yes, dreams of all the desserts that I passed up woke me in the middle of the night! Satan just can’t stand for us to walk in the light or for God to be victorious.


Certain foods have a hold over me – they have names and they are everywhere; on TV, made into singing Christmas toys, there was even a dog toy in the shape of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup! Sometimes it seems that these foods call my name. I quickly roll past the candy aisle in the store only to see the orange wrappers by the register. “One piece won’t hurt”….

Debbie Danowski has a small section in her book, The Emotional Eater's Book of Inspiration: 90 Truths You Need to Know to Overcome Your Food Addiction. It is called: "If food calls your name, you don’t have to answer". Here is the crux of this “truth” from her book:

“Despite what we may think, food CANNOT speak to us. It does not breathe. It is not living and we cannot hurt its feelings if we don't eat it. These are just excuses that we use to overeat.By giving human characteristics to food we create a relationship with an object. Once we create this relationship we become emotionally attached to it. This allows us to manufacture situations that make it nearly impossible for us to resist overeating. In a sense, we are using food to replace the human relationships that involve the person who once served them to us..”

We have an amazing God who planned our salvation from the time food "called" Eve's name. That story did not end well! Satan was behind it then, as he is now - when I am tempted. Debbie's book is great but here is "the rest of the story" ....

“Since the children are made of flesh and blood, it's logical that the Savior took on flesh and blood in order to rescue them by his death. By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the Devil's hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death. It's obvious, of course, that he didn't go to all this trouble for angels. It was for people like us, children of Abraham. That's why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people's sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed." Hebrews 2:14-18

Lord God Almighty, You are worthy to be praised! Help me to remember that my High Priest is ever interceding for me when I am tempted. To say "Thank You" for this sacrifice is not enough. With every test that Satan puts in my way, help me to remember the nail-scarred hands of my Savior. Instead of letting Satan’s voices dwell in my life, help me to be a voice that rings loudly with the Gospel’s message of victory. In Christ’s name, Amen.




lifehouse skit from youthpastorg on GodTube.

Food Lies and God's Truths

“Just one won't hurt.” “ I really don't eat that much.” “ My body size doesn't bother me.” “ There really aren't that many calories in that.”

THESE ARE EXAMPLES of "food lies": things we tell ourselves to keep us from knowing the truth about our eating. Danoski (see previous posts) goes on to say, “The only way we can allow ourselves to continue doing something we know is so harmful to our bodies is to lie to ourselves and, in some cases, to others.”


In this chapter of 90 Truths she talks shortly about how we begin to associate food with emotional triggers: chocolate = comfort, peanut butter = safety, milk = attention/love (as a baby), lollypop or candy = recognition for good behavior (at doctor’s office), etc.
Then we find that food no longer does the trick and it turns on us. Ms. Danowski writes that, “We no longer feel good after we eat, and in a misguided attempt to capture those good feelings, we continue to eat more and more. We know deep inside of us that eating isn't doing what we want it to yet we still keep hoping that we can fill the emptiness inside of us with food.”

Her suggestion to changing this behavior is to stop before you begin to eat something and take a moment to write down your thoughts and feelings. Be totally honest with what you are feeling, focusing on what reason you are giving yourself to justify eating that food, at that time of day, in that location, surrounded by which people, …and what you think it will do to help you.
The next task is to write down the truth next to that untruth, that food lie. ( i.e.” I really don't eat that much?” = “I am probably eating more than I think.”; “Just one won't hurt.” = “Eating one will lead to eating the whole bag”.) The book goes on to say if we journal and keep writing down the truth we will be enlightened and our emotional eating will stop.

Now I come to the real truth or The REST of the story...
At some point in my youth I turned from child-like innocence to telling lies and letting Satan lead me astray. (Children are innocent and sinless - Matt. 18:3) Then I started believing the lies and acting on them - which created a huge, dark gulf between the holy, pure, Light of Truth and myself.

But God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life.” Romans 1:18-23

Even though God cannot be in a place of darkness (like my heart and mind filled with lies and sin), He planned a way for His Love and truth to “passover” the dark gulf that spanned between His Holy presence and my sinful soul.
God’s plan of salvation IS
the story of the Bible from beginning to end;
from man’s exodus from Eden to Christ’s empty tomb.

The only way that I can keep from trying to fill “the emptiness inside of us with food” ;
is to fill the void and darkness with the Light of Truth.

Journaling the food lies and the emotional truths about my emotional eating is a good tool and great idea but
filling my soul, my life, my thoughts with the truth of God’s eternal, unfailing Love for me (a sinner) – this is the only solution, the only thing that can fill the emptiness and replace the lies.
WORD = LIFE

My gracious Lord, thank You for Your love and mercy. Without You I am lost. Please help me to see the truth about my addiction, my need for food. In Christ name, Amen.

Song: Prince of Peace Control My Will http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/425

Prince of peace, control my will;
Bid this struggling heart be still:
Bid my fears and doubtings cease:
Hush my spirit into peace.

Thou hast bought me with Thy blood,
Opened wide the gate to God;
Peace I ask, but peace must be,
Lord, in being one with Thee.

May Thy will, not mine be done;
May Thy will and mine be one;
Chase these doubtings from my heart,
Now Thy perfect peace impart.

Savior, at Thy feet I fall,
Thou, my life, my God, my all;
Let Thy happy servant be
One forevermore with Thee

Your Calendar is Making You Fat!

"Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!
Come back, God—how long do we have to wait?
and treat your servants with kindness for a change.
Surprise us with love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance all the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you're best at—
the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
confirming the work that we do.
Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!" Psalm 96

I have been reading Debbie Danowski's book: The Emotional Eater's Book of Inspiration: 90 Truths You Need to Know to Overcome Your Food Addiction. I thought I would read one short chapter a day. Below is an part of the 1st chapter and the "truth" hit home hard:

"IT MAY SEEM unbelievable that the first and most important step in beginning a sensible eating journey has nothing to do with food. But if you think about it for a minute, it begins to make sense.

How many times have you become discouraged because you weren't losing weight fast enough? And what did you do when you became frustrated? Let me guess: eat.

One of the biggest mistakes most emotional eaters make is to plan their weight loss. How many times have you tried to lose weight in anticipation of that big party in a few months? Or any other big event taking place on a designated date? What happened when you didn't reach your goal? The party came and went just as planned. If you did lose weight, then chances are you returned to your former eating behavior shortly after the event. The calendar served as both a beginning and ending point.

Your journey into healthy eating must not be dependent on calendars and timetables. It must become a daily way of life. The truth is that no matter how much planning we do, the weight will come off in our body's time, not our calendar's. Weight loss is proportionate to the types and quantities of food we eat and the exercise we do, not to the amount of time we spend planning it. Planning our weight loss only makes us frustrated and angry when we don't reach our goals, or cocky and celebratory when we do. Either way leads us back to overeating. The time will pass no matter what, but how we spend that time is up to us.

..... So, go ahead! Forget planning your weight loss. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Your first task in this program is to throw away your calendar. Open up that garbage can immediately! Your body, and your mind, will thank you.”

Wow! To bring this thought home for me, a believer: If God "determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name" then I need to let him plan my weight loss! (Ps.147:4)

Col. 2:2-3 "My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

There are so many scriptures that talk about not relying on my own understanding or plans. As for the book - if this is chapter one - I am looking forward to learning more "truths".

Lord, God thank you for this new life and new beginning. Help me to be honest and true when it comes to my eating habits. Shine Your holy light on me and my daily thoughts and my journey. Lord, Your will be done. In Christ's name, Amen

God is > My Past

"God is greater than my past."

Without knowing how to get a grip on my past, I could be doomed to live my whole life with the past having a grip on me; especially when it comes to my body image and losing weight. I find that I can’t open myself up to the possibility of being used by God in the present moment because I am consumed with quilt, remorse, and shame over things that are buried in my past.

The voices that brainwashed me seem to speed up from behind me and at times, roar louder than my present faith. I glance back in the rear view mirror and can’t take my mind’s eye off of those painful memories. I loose my way or miss God’s sign posts toward mountains of joy.

I cannot change my past but I can change my response with my past! When the shame and guilt from my past threatens to rain on the joy of today, I don’t see the detour God created just for that deep gully or jarring speed bump.

God is > my past sins

Psalms 103:2-5; 12
Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s..... as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Micah 7:18-19
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Corrie Ten Boom – “God hurls our sins into the depths of the sea and then He erects a “NO FISHING” sign.


I need to pay attention to the signs that God puts in front of my eyes (John 1:29, II Cor. 5:17). The Gospel is not simply “ good advice”; it is good news! Every saint that we read about in the scriptures (Moses to Paul) had a past filled with faults, weaknesses, and sins. They were sinners with a future. Their road led ahead and they followed God’s signs and His Word into eternity. They were in relationship with a God that was greater than their past.

Below are my notes from a sermon but I don't remember where, when, or who:

"God is greater than my past wounds. Jesus is the ultimate example of Life beyond severe wounds. God’s plan of salvation through Christ, who was tortured and taunted, shows that God is greater than what is done to me, what was done to Christ. I was treated as worthless but through the Cross, God says that I am worth everything. I was neglected but God says that I am treasured. I was used and abused but God says I can be healed. (Isah 53:5; II Cor. 3:18)

Because He is greater than my past, my past can serve me instead of ruling over me.

There is a story of a family whose 200 year old pear tree was blown over. When a neighbor asked the grandfather what he was going to do, he said, “I’m going to pick the fruit and burn the rest.”
 

There is wisdom to be gleaned from my past; there are things to be learned. In doing this, learning from God’s signposts about places I have been before – my past becomes redemptive. I pick the fruit because I do not want to binge again just because I am experiencing a feeling that is overwhelming.

If I can shed spotlights of truth on the potholes or temptations ahead, then I can let God show me around them. This is why I have to write out my feelings – they are part of a past that threatens to overtake me and that keeps me from living life freely and healthy.


I share these daily struggles with the view in my mirror, to show my past can be be redeemed; something that can be shared instead of something that is buried. My past can serve me and it does not have to rule over me.
 

II Cor. 1:3-4 “ God comforts us in all of our troubles so that we might be comfortable.”Is that what he said? NO! God guides us, comforts us so that we may comfort others. It is not my story anymore - once I make it through the rough, rocky road of weight loss.




My past needs to be a resource to be shared instead of a secret to be buried. It will become like salvation’s bumper sticker, telling others to take heart because if God can save, use and redeem a person like me, than God can be greater than anyone's past. God can take the shame and failures of my past and turn it into a testimony for His purpose. This story of my gleaning the good fruit from a dead tree hopefully will be a testimony and give others hope when past regrets and endless dead ends block the way down God’s highway that He created with such love - just for you and I."

I know that there are steps in OA that will also help me deal with my past constructively, with God's help. I pray that I will soon be willing and able to start those steps.

Lord, God almighty, thank you for letting me come before you sinless, saved. Forgive my unbelief when it comes to your power to forgive - your amazing grace. Please guide me on this new road away from my past and into the future. Help me to know what to leave behind and what to keep; what can be used to your glory and what is dead weight needing to be cut off. In the name of my Redeemer, I pray, Amen.

Fitting In - No Way!

"As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." Ps 18:30-32
I was raised in a family system that was out of control but no one would acknowledge the problems.(the "elephant" in the room)With no outlet for truth, family members turned to lives led in secret andeventually suicide (one or more in every generation).

I took comfort in food. Since my "problem" was eating, I was the most visible family member to focus on. So my family never let up. I would receive at least 3 or 4 diet books each Christmas. If I brought up the obvious larger problems in the family (incest, abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse etc.), I was forced to flee a gauntlet of pain. I was like a ghost that lived outside of their "truth" and I would silently scream "What is wrong with you? Can't you see?!" I fled to sweets and peanut butter for escape.
Their truths were supported by TV, pictures of models, etc. Something was really wrong with me because I did not look like the "norm". Well, now - in America - the norm is looking more and more like me! That can only mean that our nation is more than a little like my family - unwilling to see the real problems and running toward a marketed, artificial life that is not focused on truth and healing.

As I battle to see the truth for my life and control my emotions and thoughts with God's help, I find that I am surrounded by images, products, etc. that are not based in truth. This makes the journey a little more difficult, to say the least. I am sure there are others that also fight for the "truth" in their own families, work place, etc.

Every time I go to God's word, I see truth. And today I was led there again:
"The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there!
The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will.
The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity. "
2 Cor. 10:3-6 MSG


One of my favorite songs is "The Voice of Truth" sung by Casting Crowns. I have placed it in over 20 blog posts. It makes me cry every time. It's words echo my heart's cry:
"Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves; to step out of my comfort zone - To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand but the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story and the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory" - Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"

God's Grace is amazing! He is helping me each day eat healthy, be "real", and grow in faith. My prayer is that He does the same for each person who is struggling with compulsive eating, all those focused on searching for the truth and not trying to be the "norm" seen in the media. Let's not loose weight to Fit In!

Lord God, thank you for your Word and the new life you have given to me. Help me to hear the Voice of Truth daily. Create in me a new heart. In Christ's name I pray, Amen





Dan Stevers - Scars from dan_stevers on GodTube.

Peter said No

Peter Said "No"!

God had things in motion. Salvation was finally going to be sent out to Gentiles. Cornelius, a respected Roman soldier, was waiting for God to send a messenger, Peter. But when God talked to Peter in a vision, Peter said "No, Lord!" to God's command. I am sure he was very confused. God himself had given the laws about eating unclean animals but the vision was not about killing and eating animals. It was God showing Peter that the old laws were gone and the new law meant breaking bread with the "unclean" Gentiles. So even though Peter said "No, Lord!", God's plan would not be stopped.

Corrie ten Boom wrote: " Peter said, "No, Lord!" But he had to learn that one cannot say "No" while saying "Lord" and that one cannot say "Lord" while saying "No". This quote really struck me last night as I was reading a book of devotional lessons and prayers for women. Why? Because for as long as I can remember, no - was the word echoing in my mind ~ for as long as I can recall. While I was proclaiming aloud, "Yes, mam. Yes, sir." ~ the loud chiming of "NO! NO! NO!" rang in my ears, deep in my mind. The sound was deafening and it blocked me from a normal life. It blocked love from coming completely in and it blocked me from loving and trusting others freely. The knelling would start anytime relationships became close, "No one can be trusted! No, they will hurt you! No, you are not worthy of love!"
When I read the quote from Corrie ten Boom last night, I first thought about her life and how much I have respected her sacrifice over the years and how I have cherished her writings and wisdom. Even in the Nazi concentration camp, Ravensbruck, she continued to say "Yes, Lord" when she could have said no to the horror, the daily suffering, the death of loved ones.... My mind would have gone into numb mode, disassociating from reality and "No! No! No! Dear God No!" would be coming out of my heart, mind, and mouth. Then I remembered some of Corrie ten Booms other words:
"We are not called to be burden-bearers, but cross-bearers and light bearers. We must cast our burdens on the Lord."...
" Worry does not enable us to escape evil; it makes us unfit to cope with it when it comes." ...
" Every experience God gives us, every person he brings into our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only he can see." ....
" When God allows extraordinary trials for His people, He prepares extraordinary comforts for them."
 " There is nothing anybody else can do that can stop God from using us. We can turn everything into a testimony."

This brings me to a scripture that fits so wonderfully with this study:

"All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.
We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. ...Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus.
In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God's Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident.
God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete."
2 Corinthians 1: 3-5; 20-22

Wow! These scriptures helps me so much! Even though terrible things happen - things that make the heart curl up and scream "No! Please God, no!", God still counsels me with a healing affirmation and places His "Yes" within me. Now I look back at the little girl that I was, who screamed NO to God. She survived, hidden away - disassociated from the harsh, real world. Yet, that little girl was stamped with Yes!
It is the eternal pledge of God that my life and my end will not be a sad, frightened "No" but a new glorious life and in the end, I will have a last peaceful, joyous "Yes".

Lord, thank you so much for your word, your promises. Without it I would be lost and afraid every day. Forgive my lack of faith when I get caught up in the pain and horror of this earthly life. That you have provided a purpose filled life for me that is stamped with your affirming "Yes" - it is too much to take in! Thank you Lord for salvation through Christ, your Son. How can I keep from singing your praise and joining in the chorus of "Yes". Help me to focus on the "Yes" and go, like Peter, to places unfamiliar, places that might be new and a little frightening. Through Christ I make this request: keep guiding me, keep counseling me, help me see the yes and not the no.... Amen

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Cor. 3:18

Just Rewards

Just Rewards

Justifying is something that I do so easily. I justify my reason for eating in so many ways: "I had bad news from the doctor. I need chocolate to calm my nerves.", "I got a promotion. Let's celebrate by going to that all you can eat buffet."

I may feel justified with these actions but God is a just God. If I sin or believe lies and act on those, there are consequences.

Going to God's word for truth helps me a great deal:

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me.
I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples. I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love. I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father." John 15:4-15

When I came to this passage I was searching for healthy outlets for my strong emotions (joy, pain, fear, etc.). After reading this passage I realized that if I am connected intimately with Christ as my best friend, my first thoughts when strong emotions well up will not be to "justify" an unhealthy activity.

I was a teacher of preteens for over 10 years. I saw first hand how peer pressure got students in trouble. When students made friends with trouble makers and made bad choices, they invariably tried to "justify" their actions.

Food addiction is letting Satan be your best friend. He pulls you toward the unhealthy activities.

If I am nervous, I need to take my hurt, bruised feelings to Christ. As my friend, he will guide me toward a better way (take a walk, wrap up with a heating pad and hot tea, etc.) The music video below shows red cups on strings being placed throughout the city (a symbol of communicating with God - speaking and listening). Taking the time to stop and listen or to wrap myself in the Word of love instead of running toward food will allow me to have Just Rewards.


Heavenly Father, please help me to focus on my relationship with You and not on my feelings. Sometimes my head is in the clouds and I don't realize that Christ is alive and standing beside me as my friend. He is my example of how to love my self and love others. Lord the need to turn to food is so easy and the road to unhealthy eating habits is so well-worn - please help me turn to you for the answers. In my Lord Jesus Christ's name I plea, Amen.



Broken from worshiphousemedia on GodTube.



Paul Baloche - The Same Love (Official Music Video) from integritymusic on GodTube.

At the Water Cooler

At the Water Cooler

Now that I am retired I remember breaktime or lunch time: There is anticipation, joy, compassion, and gossip but I think I came to the "water cooler" or the lunch room to hear the news; to learn what is important to others and find ways to be a part of the whole. It took years to feel like I could hold my own and converse like others.

You see, I take things way to seriously. I don't think that I fitted into any group (except the other sinners/redeemed at church). Often my daydream was that my Redeemer would walk right up to the table and begin talking to me - that He would tell me what I needed to know - like the Woman at the Well.

Issues

Issues

Every time I turn on the TV or read a newspaper I am overwhelmed by the anger, frustration, and disgust that is present there. This chaos of voices and endless arguments and debates leaves a stain, a blot on my day. Instead of walking in God's love, peace and hope, the path of politics and issues leads me to despair. For many years I just ignored any voice filled with fear and anger, I would not look at anyone with a face constipated with rage and fear. I was raised surrounded with opinionated, judgemental people who thought their opinion was the only right one.  Like many survivors of abusive, that lived in unsafe homes, the atmosphere of discord makes me shut down or flee!

Recently I read a quote by Jack Exum,

"Issues come and go. How you handle the issue, is the real issue."

Amen!

In John 8, Jesus was surrounded by swarms of people. He was trying to teach them the basics of life ~ what really mattered.

"The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?.....Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone. .... Jesus once again addressed them: I am the world's Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in."

The Pharisees wanted to side track Jesus from his main message of love and forgiveness, of being a servant instead of a master.

It is not the politics and issues of our day that should be my focus; healthcare reform, right versus left, etc. Jesus is pointing to a way past the chaos, beyond the "issue" or all the arguing about government or laws. The law of love reigns when Jesus, the Light of the world leads the way. All the issues become clearer and anger, arguing, and hatred fall back into the shadows. Love is the answer, for God is love and the first commandments must be followed first: Love God and then love your neighbor.

Paul speaks to Romans and to us today:

"If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. " (Romans 12 - The Message)

Dear Lord, I am confused by politics and the chaos and fear that spread more and more each day around me. Since my health is not the best, the healthcare debate is very upsetting and causes me to worry about my future. Lord help me remember that you are in control. Help me focus on voices filled with love and focus on the light of Your grace. I have been blessed to live in a country where I have a voice and a vote. Help me to see past the red faces and raised voices. Prepare me to be a light that burns bright with love. You cause nations to fall and raise them up. Forgive me when I doubt your mighty hand and loving plan for my life and my country. In Christ, I pray this prayer, Amen.

Sweet Trust

Sweet Trust

The God of Love has sent me down a path that is shrouded in fog and pain. I can't see what is to come but I know that Christ is my guide and will save me from any holes, cliffs, or sharp turns that I cannot see or anticipate. Even though I can't see ahead, I walk by faith. Am I good at walking by faith? No, not always. So I go to the scriptures for help and I look for examples of other Christians that have gone through trials and were able to trust in the Lord. They were rewarded, some of them in this life.

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10

Below is a film clip about the author of the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns. The story is about trust ~ even in times when it seems impossible to take another step. This clip reminded me that God's people keep loving their Lord with all their hearts, minds, soul, body ~ their whole being.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1Cor. 13:4-7

Lord, thank you for your wonderful love and the ultimate gift of love, your forgiveness due to Christ's sacrifice on the cross, for my sins. It is only through the cleansing power of that blood, that I can walk in your holy, presence and talk to you justified ~ Just as if I'd never sinned against you. Glory to your holy name! Lord, I am so weak and pain makes it difficult to think straight. Oh, God help me to love you with a pure heart and rejoice in your truth, your word to me. Help me trust in you for everything. Lord, pain and illness isolates me so often. Please help me find ways to reach out to others and love them, just as you loved me. Thank you for another day filled with your love instead of filling the day obsessing about food. I pray this prayer in Christ's name, Amen.

Less of Me

Hunger and Thirst

It is one of those days. Nothing seems to keep me from the need to binge. What is wrong with me?!?

 

 Well, I know that there is a great deal of emotional stress with any major change. I need something to fill in the empty void. I need something to block the feelings that hurt too much. Food has always been my answer.

 

With God's help and guidance, I have been loosing weight. But on days like today, I am once again shipwrecked on an island of despair and surrounded by unhealthy "saltwater" to drink. That is all I see! (The more you drink saltwater to stop the thirst - the thirstier you get.) For me it is not really saltwater - it is sweets. I get so filled with sorrow, memories that are painful, and compulsive thoughts that race around in my head - that I need something else to replace those things. So I fill up on sweets. But like saltwater - one piece of candy is not enough.

 

I know what I have to do, the only thing that really helps me: ~ Go to God and His word to fill me up, to replace the need for sweets.

Matthew 5:6 says: "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." NKJV

 

 I really like the Message version of this passage:

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink is the best meal you'll ever eat." WOW!

 

Most of the time I find it easy to "hunger and thirst for righteousness" and I do have an appetite for God and His love. However, I think there is another step in this process that I do not find easy. I must continually empty myself first before I can be "filled" with His glory. That emptying process is constant and it is very difficult for me. Sometimes I want to keep what I am used to: abuse, failure, sorrow, scars, and chaos. I must remember and keep my eyes on the salvation of the Lord.

 "It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful. If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken." 2 Cor. 4:6-11(Message)

So my prayer again today ~ my longing is to be emptied of self; of past abuse, fears,failures, and chaos. Only then can I be filled with God's light and love. I know that if I can do that - I will not be hungry and thirsty again.

 

Lord God, have mercy on me today and every day on this journey to better health physically, emotionally, and spiritually! I am caught in a web of poor eating habits and I am trying to break free. Please help me to empty myself of pride, of self, and yes, help me to leave behind the abused little girl. Fill me with your hope and love so that I can set my feet forward on the road to success, when it comes to controlling my eating. You are worthy to be praised for eternity and it is my desire to spend my life singing your praises and spreading the good news of your loving grace. Through Jesus' name, I make this petition, Amen.